20th;

Had a super weird dream today, i dreamt that i got together with Zhirong.

Do everything then after that we broke up. 

Then the place suddenly change to ahma's room.

We were on bed watching teebee. Emily, Zhirong and Me.

I continuously say sorry to him, then Wilson came after that.

He drank alot i think, he's drunk. He walk to the bed and sleep at my place.

It was so squeeze, so i call him go away.

He move upwards and got closer to me, and got more squeeze. 

I stand up and pull him away, he went over to sleep with Emily.

Then i went out to the toilet i guess? 

Then he say sleep with Emily very squeeze, come my place again,

He keep want to be very close to me, then i keep push him away.

But he still come, suddenly my phone rang and i woke up.

Stupid dream, right? Bullshit. Whatever it is, it was just a dream.

And i actually remember, so this dream is not gonna come true. Even though i wish it would.

Today was me and Precious's 16th anniversary. We met and went to headshot.

3hours of lan, ate rite pizza. After lan, went to nex. Walkwalk, then bus home.

Met at 7:15pm again for running, we quarreled. On our anniversary. 

Just because of a small lil things, again.

Next day, i texted her. Saying sorry. And guess what she say?

'' What's the point of apologizing if we're gonna quarrel over the same thing? 

You are obviously saying sorry for the sake of saying sorry.

Aiya forget it. I've been thinking uh, since im always the one who damn straightforward, 

and the one who comment on your negative point. I decided not to do it anymore,

from now on im not going to care, im just going to listen and shut up.

That way i wont hurt anyone with me being straightforward and annoy anyone.

No point trying so hard to change what i cant change. 

So be it if you wanna stay like this, so be it if you like your attitude now or the way you want

your future to end up i mean. I'm one person. Who am i to comment one. 

So yes, im listening but no more talking nonsense or trying anymore, i see no point. ''

You say until like i dont care like that, say until like you are the only one trying.

Are you blind? Or you cant feel anything? 

If i dont care, i wont be the one saying sorry after every quarrel even if its not even my fault.

I wont think of doing those stupid things for you, just for you to forgive me.

I wont got say by people, saying im stupid for doing the 'sorry' board. 

If i dont care, i wouldnt ALWAYS cry when we quarrel.

I wont run around that field, crying, screaming like a stupid idiot girl. I wont.

I would always say sorry after those quarrels is because i dont wanna lose you.

And all those sorry, is from the bottom of my heart. I truly mean it.

I would say sorry because, i value our friendship more than my ego.

Do you even understand? 

And, if you care, you would say sorry too. Even if its not your fault.

If you care, you would accept my apology and not saying those words.

If you care .. If only you care . You understand ? 

My attitude, my attitude. Everytime is because of my attitude. 

Do you even think i want it? Its my attitude, i cant change.

I mean i can, but it takes time. Its hard okay?

Im born with this attitude, then you suddenly want me change.

Its really hard, and i didnt attitude you, you would say i did.

So what if i had a attitude problem? Like that means everything is my fault?

Is my attitude? Attitude also not i want de, then what can i do?
You only know how to say me, compare me with other people, do you even care?
Whatever it is, i say here you also wont know. So there's no any point in it.
Now that we are 'over', i bet you are definitely very happy about it.
Like that you can dont speak vulgarities, you can study, you can do whatever you want.
Without me, this irritating bitch stopping you. Attitude-ing you, ruining your mood/day. Right?
Great, now you can always meet your GEE without me complaining, being jealous. Right?
This is totally a great thing for you, congratulations. You have literally 甩开 me.
Now, you are a freegirl96. A happygirl96.
Goodluck for your life then, i wont bother you anymore. Since im a extra in your life.
Smile everyday, okay?
I love you.